Chapter 9
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Theodore thought for a moment.
Do I really need to tear this up and read it? Everything that must be done is written in the will. What's in here is probably just private talk.
An afterthought from his father to him. He could throw it in the fire without reading it. What Pavel wanted to tell him now, he couldn't guess.
In the ten years he'd lived at Count Knox's, Pavel had never come to pick him up. Even letters were rarely exchanged.
At best, an apology, which he felt compelled to do in his later years.
With that thought, Theodore broke the seal on the letter. The letter was not long, and the handwriting was so shaky that it was obvious that it had been written in the depths of his illness.
[My son, Theodore.
I don't know how long it's been since I've written to you, and I don't even know how to begin.... But you chose to read your father's last letter to you, thank you.]
His father must have known that he would likely burn the letter without opening it. Theodore read on, feeling bitter.
[I know you resent me, but I can't help it. I have not been a good father to you. I'm sorry for that.
I can't tell you how much it hurt when you left home. I'm sorry. It would have been the right thing to do to pick you up, and I would have begged you for forgiveness and explained the story. You are a wise and loyal child, and you would have understood.
My dear boy.
I never said those words to you, but even while you were at Count Knox's, I was always watching to see how you were doing. You have no idea how happy I am that you've grown into a fine man, a knight worthy of a knight, despite everything I've done wrong.
And I'm sorry. I know I have done nothing but wrong, both to you and to your mother, and it has haunted me all my life.
Alas, I am still bound by my oath. If only I could have confided all this to you.
But please believe me.
I have never betrayed your mother. As a knight, I took an oath to protect Lady Peril, and Olivia was a child I had to protect.
Please take care of Olivia, and I hope you will fulfill the duty this father has failed to fulfill.
Didn’t you love that child? I believe you can be happy if you talk openly, and I'm sure she'll mend your heart.]
So....
It ended with a plea for Olivia.
Theodore sighed and folded the letter back into its envelope, then tossed it into the drawer altogether. If the fireplace had been burning, he would have thrown it in there.
Even when he was a child, Pavel had often said.
"Treat Olivia like your own sister and take good care of her."
In hindsight, perhaps he did this because he was worried that the word that the Countess had died because of Peril and Olivia might reach his son's ears.
Very young, he nodded in agreement. When he lost his mother, he was too young to understand much of what the adults were saying. Perhaps that's why he thought of Olivia as the child that had replaced his sister in his mother's womb.
Pavel raised Olivia without distinction from Theodore. Lady Peril resided in the west tower a short distance away and rarely came to the main house, but the nursemaid would often come and go with Olivia at Pavel's command.
Theodore would then take Olivia by the hand and lead her around the castle. Olivia was a good and gentle child. No matter what Theodore told her, she would open her big green and blue eyes and nod her head in wonder.
Then, in his excitement, Theodore would tell her about everything and show her everything in a smug way. He flew kites on windy days, went sledding in the winter, showed her the haunted room in the rain, and went boating in the summer. When he tried to teach Olivia how to spell, he spilled an ink bottle and ruined the furniture and carpet in her study.
No matter what he did, as long as Olivia was involved, Pavel didn't scold him. The only time Theodore had ever been scolded by Pavel was when he took Olivia to the stables when she was just starting to learn to ride and almost had an accident.
His memories of Lady Peril weren't too bad. Sometimes, when he would go to the West Tower to visit Olivia, she would stroke Theodore's head with affection and offer him treats.
But that childhood would not last long. Theodore learned who the woman called Lady Peril was, and realized that Olivia might be his "real half-sister" and not just "a child like a sister.”
He didn't know whether to be happy or angry. It wasn't his mother, whose memory was foggy.
He had always known that his father cared about and loved Olivia more than he did him, but when he suddenly realized that it was because she was his biological daughter, it made no sense to him, and he was furious.
Looking back on it now, it was ridiculous. He could be angry that he loved his sister more. But it didn’t make sense that he couldn't understand that his father loved his daughter and not someone else's child.
He distanced himself from Olivia.
"Theo, do you hate me?"
Olivia, still so young, looked up at him, her pretty eyes full of water, and asked.
"No, I don't hate you, I just don't like you."
He didn't hate Olivia; he hated the fact that he didn't want to see her. He hated her even more for not understanding his complicated mind and still being stuck in her sweet, simple childhood.
Olivia sobbed at his words. Theodore felt the need to comfort her, but he also realized that he shouldn't, so he left.
The sound of Olivia's cries was still stuck in his head, and he would think of it from time to time.
He stood up, feeling stuffy. The alcohol was making him feel feverish, and he thought some night air would help him feel better.
The time was nearing midnight, and he left the room, wearing only his coat and no vest over his shirt.
The guests had all returned to their rooms, but the servants seemed to be up late cleaning and organizing the castle. Theodore took the shortcut he had often used as a child and slipped out of the castle without encountering anyone.
The night breeze was cool on his face. The full moon was shining brightly, making it a perfect night for a walk.
Theodore let out a long breath, finally feeling like he could breathe properly. His mind was still full of complicated thoughts, and he was gripped by his ambivalent feelings for his father.
First he told him to treat her like a sister, now he wanted him to marry her.
I don't know. There was no reason why he should grant the request. Pavel had already made sure in his will that Olivia would be well provided for without his involvement, and he could live without seeing her forever.
Just as he'd decided when he was fifteen.
But then again, there was no reason he should; she wasn't his sister, or anything.
Then he suddenly felt a presence and looked up. Olivia was standing in the garden with the chrysanthemums in bloom. She had gone to bed and come out for a night walk, wearing only a coat over her negligee and her hair loose.
The white moonlight glinted off her golden locks. Even her waist-length bodice was white, and she seemed to stand there, her slender body swaying in the moonlight's waves.
He stood there for a moment, unable to speak.
It had been like that before, the day he'd decided to leave.
Olivia stood in the garden of this small country house. It was a sunny day, and it was mostly planted with yellow and orange flowers. The sunlight hit her hair, making golden waves, and she was smiling like a sunflower.
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Zero two (Sunday, 03 November 2024 02:27)
Please upload five chapters every day