Chapter 4
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It was by chance that Olivia discovered the power of the jewelry box.
In her first life, she spent nearly twenty years in this annex. Despairing, hopeless, unable to breathe because life was too much too hard, yet too cowardly to take her own life, she lived in hopes that the day would come when she would die of her own accord.
Then one day, in a fit of rage, she was pushed by Loella, and fell against this fireplace and died.
"I'm the Empress, I'm his wife! How dare you!"
The anger was unwarranted; Olivia had never wanted Ezekiel, nor had she ever reveled in this imprisonment.
"Shameless bitch! I pity Count Lutgard, risking his life for someone like you!!!"
What that meant, Olivia couldn't tell. Why would Theodore? No, in fact, she didn't even know if the Count of Lutgard was Theodore or not. She'd been locked up for twenty years, never seeing the outside world.
She must have held the jewelry box in her hand as she lay dying. Olivia could still remember the sharp pain and blurry vision. The jewelry box glowed in her own blood.
When she woke up, she was twenty-two years old again.
At first, she thought her previous life was a dream. An absurd nightmare.
But what she thought was a dream, and therefore the stuff of weird imagination, soon became reality. The letter from the Count of Lutgard that she had read in her dream was real, and she knew once again that she was a real princess.
After reading the letter, she ran away. With no thought of how far she would go or how she would survive, she took the little pocket money she had saved and the clothes on her back and ran away from everything she loved and who loved her.
But fate simply followed her. The Duke of Schwaben, who learned of Olivia's survival not long after the death of the former Count of Lutgard, tracked her down and captured her in order to eliminate the variable.
Even then, Olivia became Ezekiel's plaything.
She lasted about three years. She accepted to become his mistress on the promise of retribution to Lutgard if she dared to kill herself.
Never seeing anyone, never allowed to walk in the garden, she lived like a domesticated animal in this outbuilding, eating what Ezekiel fed her, wearing whatever clothes he wanted, kissing him as he asked, and spreading her legs whenever he desired.
For three years, she fiddled with the jewelry box, unsure of herself. Wishing that she could start over, and holding on to that wish....
But in the end, Ezekiel killed Theodore.
On the day of Theodore’s execution, Ezekiel came to her in a more cheerful mood than usual, bringing her gifts and engaging with her in a more affectionate manner than usual.
Then he taught her, with a smile on his face, a lesson that exhausted her.
"Theodore Lutgard was executed today."
"Huh, what do you mean? You said you wouldn't kill him! If I obeyed you, you'd let Lutgard live...."
"No matter what, I can't let a man who committed treason go free. If the government lets a traitor go free just because he begs, what will happen to the country?"
As she cried out, Ezekiel kissed her with a satisfied look on his face.
"I was keeping alive what should have been killed, Via, for it was treason to keep you hidden in the first place, and he dared to raise an army."
"You said you'd let him live, you said you'd let Lutgard go if I did what you said."
It was the only thing Olivia could say.
What was she doing holding on to a life without hope? What was she doing smiling at a man she hated?
Only because she wanted Lutgard to be safe.
All the good times in her life had been in Lutgard. The former Count of Lutgard had raised her like a daughter, and the memories there sustained her.
So she endured. Even though she knew Theodore despised her. She knew what her people back home must think of her living as the Emperor's mistress.
And Ezekiel must have known it, too, because he smiled and said teasingly.
"Yes, since you're here, I executed Theodore and spared the rest, and what's with that rebellious look, Via, you should say thank you."
Olivia's eyes were wide and she choked back tears, but she couldn't help but thank him and kiss his feet. There must be people still alive in Lutgard.
But as she thought and thought and thought, she couldn't make sense of it.
There was no way loyal Theodore would do such a thing as treason. He must have been framed, or Ezekiel must have pushed him to do so.
In the end, she clutched the jewelry box and cut her wrists. She didn't even feel much pain.
If only she could really go back. If not, she would just die. She couldn't live with herself for letting Theodore die like he did. She couldn't take it anymore, even if it meant sacrificing everyone else in Lutgard.
She would have preferred it if she had just died. If she had just died, without even trying to escape, Lutgard would have been fine, Theodore would have been safe.
She couldn't tell if the redness in her vision was from her tears or from the blood staining everything.
And she remembered for sure this time that the jewelry box glowed.
And she was given another chance.
This time, she realized she shouldn't run away alone, so she told Theodore everything she knew. Everything from the fact that she was actually a princess to the conspiracy of the Duke of Schwaben.
She knew Theodore hated her. It was unfair to place this burden on him when she had been granted a favor that would never be repeated.
But there was no one else to turn to for help.
This time, she thought, everything would be fine. Theodore was a wise and strong man, surely he would be able to protect her and keep Lutgard safe.
And here she was.
In the end, she was to blame again. Because of her, Theodore died, branded a traitor once again, and Lutgard was destroyed.
Olivia clutched the jewelry box and stared down at it. The tears had dried up now, and though her eyes were stinging, they didn't smear.
‘I'm not going to fail this time, I'm going to save him, I'm going to survive.’
Instead of running away to get it back in her hands, she walked under Ezekiel's hand and held on.
And endured, to begin once more.
A pained sigh passed through her parched chest.
'I'm okay.'
She repeated to herself. She would always be okay. She could start again, she could protect those she cared about.
This time, this time, she would make it. She wouldn't run, she wouldn't rely on others, she would save herself.
For herself, Theodore, and Lutgard.
Olivia grabbed the jewelry box and walked toward her bedroom. She thought it would make less noise than breaking the window.
She shoved the glass table in the bedroom, knocking it over.
Bam!
There was a loud crash as the table shattered.
Glass shards spattered and cut her leg, but she didn't mind at all. She protected her hand with the strap of her robe and picked up the sharp shards of glass. If she injured her hand first, it would be harder to slice until she reached an artery.
There would be plenty of time. Loella's excitement would not subside easily, and the maid would not come into the bedroom. Only a few people could get in where Olivia was.
So all that was needed was her will.
Not for the first time. Olivia took a shard of glass and slashed at the artery in her wrist. Once, twice, three times.... Over and over again, as if it was her only duty.
Finally, three hours later, when Ezekiel came to the outbuilding after he and Loella had come to an agreement and gotten some rest, he found her lying in a pool of blood, white as a sheet, breathing her last.
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