Chapter 61
***
The next day, Louise happened to have a horseback riding lesson with Michael.
"Did you sleep well?"
She had squatted next to Caius and slept fitfully throughout the night. When she woke up groggy, his grip on her hand was thankfully loosened.
No wonder she looked more tired than usual, having finally gotten back to her room and gotten some sleep.
"..................a little bit."
Louise rubbed her eyes as she said it. Michael looked a little troubled.
"If you're tired, why don't we do the lesson tomorrow?"
Louise had recently succeeded in learning sitting on the horse, just as Caius had hoped. Her riding lessons had been reduced to twice a week.
And now it was April, which meant it was horseback riding season. It was the time of year when she no longer had to wear fur, and she was almost ready for it.
She didn’t know the details, but Caius was planning to use the interviews for his knighthood as an excuse to enter the palace. The interviews wouldn’t start until May, so it was not too far off.
Before answering Michael, Louise asked him something else.
"The Imperiale Celle is for the Emperor himself, so I assume His Highness will avoid it. Which, then, is the first racecourse he will visit?"
"Krefeld. It opens in mid-late summer."
Mid-late summer was only a few days away. Louise swallowed a short breath and nodded.
"Teach me. I think I can do it."
Michael hesitated briefly, but then agreed.
She and the horse Gloria, who had become quite close in the meantime, practiced trotting in the garden.
Louise's legs no longer rattled on her horse, and she no longer had the man to praise her.
The warm morning sun caressed her face.
She wondered if spring had come to the banks of the river where she had ridden with Caius, and now she and Gloria would be able to walk downhill.
Louise stared wistfully at the gate, then stopped. She didn't want to be reminded that Caius was the reason the river had been so beautiful that day.
The man's body heat still lingered in her palm from the night before. As soon as she dismounted, she couldn't help but ask.
"How is His Excellency, and how is he sleeping..... Martin says he’s been drinking a lot."
Her voice grew increasingly slurred toward the end, but Michael answered bluntly.
"He said he slept like a log last night."
Louise paused for a moment, wondering if her holding his hand had helped, and if so, she wouldn't blame him for a sleepless night. If only she could erase the sad memories of her parents from his mind, just as she had erased his nightmares with her hands.
She felt so sorry for him, so sad that she had only hurt him more.
"He’s had a slow week."
Michael's voice was as calm as a worker reporting the year's production. He didn't sound as worried as the butler the day before. Just as Louise was about to feel relieved and resigned at the same time, he asked unexpectedly.
"May I ask what happened to you in Nas?"
Louise looked up at Michael, who she assumed knew what was going on because he had also been there.
"Didn't you know ..................?"
"No. I saw the two of you talking to the Count and the Countess of Nas just before we left, but I didn't hear a word. I didn't dare ask His Excellency, because he's not usually one to enjoy conversations.”
With that, Michael began to walk toward the stables. Louise let out a small sigh as she followed him.
There was no reason she couldn't answer him. She would have rather spilled her guts to anyone, but this was not the right person.
"..................I took the pills without his knowledge. I wanted to prevent pregnancy."
Michael's expression didn't change at this point. But he did ask what was on his mind.
"May I ask why? Do you not love him, and did you do this so that you could leave him one day?"
Louise burst out laughing. Honestly, she wondered if Michael Xavitzer knew love.
"Has he brainwashed you? You think and act so much alike."
"Then, is there another reason?"
"Would you believe me if I told you? He didn’t."
"Try me."
It was a ridiculous attitude, considering his devotion to Caius. There would be no other man in the manor who would be so eager to question the countess.
But Louise answered slowly.
"I was afraid he would hate the child as much as he hates me, and the child is innocent of any crime."
Michael stopped walking, and Louise paused for a moment. After a moment of silence, he asked again.
"Then why do you think His Excellency hasn't been able to sleep for a month? I ask because I can't figure it out."
Angry. Hurt. Disappointed in me?
But those reasons were strangely at odds with the answer Louise had just given.
"I was afraid he would hate the child as much as he hates me."
Could a man who hated her so much be so angry at her, disappointed in her, or even hurt by her, that he would lose sleep over it for over a month?
If not, what the hell was keeping him up at night?
"..................Maybe it's because he's worried about being close to me. Maybe it has nothing to do with me."
Louise answered as best she could.
Michael stared at her as if he wanted to pry into her mind, but he left her alone and turned away.
***
Later that same evening, Louise woke up with a start when Caius burst into her bedroom unexpectedly.
"Huh..................?"
Caius didn't even bother to smile politely. In fact, he looked very sullen, as if something had died.
"Is there any reason I shouldn't be in this room, this is my room."
A blunt reply came back.
Louise only smiled wryly.
It was good to see him after all these days, even if he had treated her with such disrespect. Of course, she felt a little pathetic.
He took out his pocket watch, set it down, and took off his coat.
Louise accepted his coat and spoke cautiously.
"I heard you hadn't slept well and that you've been drinking too much......... and all of your employees are worried."
Cold golden eyes bore into Louise's.
"I told you, I have insomnia. Everyone knows it, and they gossip."
The man untied his cravat and added.
"The Krefeld equestrian center opens in two weeks. The Krefeld is a straight course, so it's not easy to watch, which is why the Emperor hasn't been there since it first opened. It's already well known, so most of his entourage will be missing, which is good for us. You'll be accompanying me that day."
"Yes, Your Highness."
Louise answered meekly.
Caius set the cravat down roughly on the table.
"May is not far off, and I’m getting busy, but I was wondering if you would be willing to make a preliminary visit to Imperiale Celle next week, as I have a package to pick up from the Count of Nas."
Louise swallowed dryly. The Emperor would surely appear at the Imperiale Celle, and she would not be able to accompany him.
"If I make any mistakes....................."
"I'll have Michael with you, and the Countess will be able to help to some extent, but if any stranger asks what family you're from, tell them you're from Galicia, and they won't be able to pry, though they may be somewhat dismissive of you, given the current state of affairs with the Duchy."
"Then who will you be?"
"Me? I doubt it."
He cut her off, then explained.
"The years have been bad since the pension was cut, and half the northern nobility are in debt to me."
She had guessed his resourcefulness from the people she had met, but she hadn't realized the extent of it. The man snorted at Louise's astonishment.
"Why? Isn't it too much for your high-minded tastes that an imperial man should touch money?"
"..................No, of course not, just unexpected."
"When I was growing up, my priority was to pay off my debt to Ferdinand as quickly as possible and get away from him. Let's just say it was an unavoidable accident that happened along the way."
Caius turned away as if he had finished speaking.
He left his robe in his room, no doubt to be seen by the servants.
Louise called urgently to his already turned back.
"Excuse me, Your Highness."
He took a step away and turned around.
"What is it?"
They had shared flesh to flesh every night until a month ago, but the man was as cold as the first time they had met as she was hired.
Louise forced her dry lips apart.
"Well.................. if you find it difficult to sleep."
"If it's difficult?"
She squeezed her eyes shut tightly before spitting out the embarrassing words. He watched numbly as her petal-like lashes fluttered.
"Sleep here, and then go. If............. you don’t mind."
***
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Write a comment
Virginie (Tuesday, 29 October 2024 11:42)
Very good story and excellent translation !! � Thank you very much Dora !!