Chapter 13
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The fingers that peeked out from under her sleeves were like skinny branches, and as Sasha slowly stroked her back, she could clearly feel her spine and vertebrae. She was so thin.
"Calm down, it's okay, what's your name?"
"Belle."
Sasha struggled to make eye contact with her, stroking her shoulder with the same familiarity and skill she'd used to deal with nervous breakdowns in the wards.
"Why, why am I here, where am I?"
Sasha understood her confusion. When she'd been dropped off here, alone, she'd been just as terrified as Belle. It was terribly scary, lonely, and painful. So calm down. Unlike me, you're not alone. I can help you, and you can get through this much easier than I did.
"Belle. Calm down and think about what I'm asking you."
She nodded.
"Do you have any idea how you got here?"
"I don't know. One day, one morning, out of nowhere, the Dochen came and took us all, my mom, my dad, and my brother, and they put us all in a truck and took us somewhere. It was dark, no light...... and they wouldn't let us sleep, not even water."
Sasha checked her nails. They were scarred and dead, just like hers. But why didn't she even have bandages, while she had fresh, clean bandages every time. Why......?
"And then I opened my eyes and I was here, and at first I thought I was dreaming, but the door, the door wouldn't open......"
Belle burst into tears again.
"I don't know where everyone is, why am I the only one here...... I can't believe it, I want to go back home again, I want to see my mom, my dad, my family, I'm scared to death, I don't know what to do, I, what should I do?"
"Come here."
Sasha led her into the bedroom. She sat the crying Belle down on the bed and quickly unwrapped the bandages on her own fingers. It was still splintered and bruised, but it was bearable. Maybe, just maybe, if she passed out from eating again, they'd change it with a new bandage. Maybe not.
If she was in a hurry, she could tear the hem of her skirt and make a bandage. She was a nurse, and she had always been good at dealing with emergencies. She had been in situations where she didn't have enough bandages, but even worse, so it's a professional habit she had gotten used to over the years.
The desire to heal the wounded in the moment, and the willingness to give of herself to do so. For now, Sasha's priority was to clean Belle's hands, which were badly wounded. Ointments and antiseptics would be nice, but alas, for now, she had to wrap her hands tightly with a bandage to ease the pain.
As she bandaged Belle's hands, her mind became clearer. Sasha was in a familiar situation. It was a situation she was skilled at, knew well, and knew best, and it was comforting. She had a clear direction, like finally seeing the light of a lighthouse at the end of the tunnel.
The distractions were gone, and she felt a sense of duty to take care of the person in front of her. This could be done right. She recognized what needed to be done with crystal clarity.
It's okay, it's going to be okay, I'll take care of you, so it's okay, this is what I do best. I'll take care of you. I'll protect you until your wounds heal. Just like I've always done.
"I'm Sasha, I went through the same thing you did, I was tortured and when I woke up, I was here."
"Do you know how to get out of here? Do you have any idea where we are? Is there anyone else here besides us?"
Belle asked, still shaking. Sasha shook her head.
"No. It's just us."
"And where are we?"
"I don't know, I just know it's somewhere in the fortress."
"Then....... This place is....... Can we get out?"
Sasha shook her head again. Belle couldn't stop crying.
"So we're going to die here?"
Maybe. Probably. There was no way they were getting out of here on their own unless someone got them out. But Sasha couldn't bring herself to say yes. Belle was trembling violently and looked like she was about to have a seizure. It was a weak, pitiful gesture.
"Belle. Why don't...... we just focus on getting your wounds healed for now, and then we can think about it."
Just then, the door swung open. Sasha had barely gotten the words out. Belle instinctively burrowed into Sasha's arms, and Sasha instinctively wrapped her arms around her.
There were no clocks here, so there was no way to tell the time. But if anyone was going to burst in unannounced, she thought, it would be John. At the same time, she realized that he was not the kind of man who would barge through the door so roughly, and she had no idea why she was so sure of him when she had only seen him a few times.
"Sasha Laurent!"
Unlike John's rolling pronunciation of Sasha's name, it sank into her flesh like a wedge. Sasha bit her lip at the sight of Colonel Dieter's menacing silhouette and hugged Belle tighter.
"Come out."
"Come on!"
Dieter snarled, and Sasha's body stiffened, along with Belle's, in horror. It was the first time she'd seen him since leaving the torture chamber. The horror of her body reacted more keenly and quickly than the horror of her mind, and it wasn't until a moment later that she realized how helpless she'd felt under his lashings.
Dieter glared at them both. They must obey his orders before they provoke him further. Otherwise, the lash will come again. She was not alone now. Any stubbornness or even the slightest sign of hesitation would hurt Belle, too. Sasha took Belle's hand. She lifted her head and looked up at Sasha.
"It's going to be okay."
Sasha whispered soothingly, and Belle nodded numbly. The look on her face was desperate, more like wanting to believe than worrying. It's okay, there's two of us, you're not alone, it'll be okay.
Dieter stomped his foot as Sasha took Belle's hand and headed for the door. She remembered his kick so clearly. Her whole body ached again. Her back. Her side. Her chest. Her stomach. Sasha and Belle let out a small scream and froze in place.
"You're the only one going. Sasha Laurent!"
"......No."
"No, Sasha......"
Belle grabbed her hand and clung to it, tears cascading down her face that wouldn't stop.
"Don't go, don't go, stay with me, don't leave me alone."
"Fucking bitches, what the hell are you doing!"
Dieter stormed into the room and yanked on Sasha's forearm.
"Sasha! Sasha!"
Belle screamed as she looked at Sasha. Dieter didn't care and dragged her away. She couldn't put up much of a fight against his vicious grip. She could only listen to Belle's screams.The hysterical sound filled her with fear.
"Where are you taking me! You could tell me where you're going!"
"Please! At least tell me where you’re taking me......"
Dieter swung his hand and threw her against the wall. Her shoulders collided with a thud, bones ringing, but before Sasha could scream, he grabbed her chin and lifted her up menacingly. She couldn't scream, but her breath was crushed by his palm.
"Listen to me, you fucking slut. If you squeak one more time, I'm going to rip your tongue out, because it's not going to do you much good in your four years of life. Do you understand?"
Sasha nodded, blue in the face.
"Good."
Dieter shoved Sasha's body forward. She stumbled, backed into the center of the hallway.
"Walk."
Sasha barely managed to squeeze the sobs that threatened to burst out into her throat. She swept a hand through her messy hair and walked down the hall, panting like a sheep being herded by a shepherd.
Jazz drifted through the speakers on all four axles. John was moving his spotlessly polished fork, watching the light reflect off it as it drifted across the ceiling, relieving his boredom.
"Go in."
It was Dieter's voice. John put down his fork and looked at the entrance to the dining room. Sasha hesitated, and Dieter pushed her inside. Sasha staggered inside. John smiled.
But Sasha's face was white and badly wrinkled. Dieter must have scared her in the hallway.
"Sit down."
Snap. Dieter slammed the door behind Sasha. Her figure went dark for a moment, then slowly revealed itself. John glanced at his watch, stood up, and pulled out the chair across from him.
"We don't have much time today. Sit down."
"Sit."
He commanded once more, his voice high-pitched. Sasha shuffled over and took the seat he'd set aside. John sat Sasha down and returned to his own seat.
"Why...only me...."
Sasha stammered as she looked at him. Her face was so different from yesterday, when she'd been so nervous. John spoke softly, trying to ease her tension. Though he doubted it would work.
"I told you, I'd give you a doll. You'll have to leave it behind when you eat."
"It's a person."
"It's a doll."
John insisted. Sasha was at a loss for words. He must be crazy after all. Colonel Dieter, too. This man.
"What the hell are you going to do?"
"Here. Eat."
John piled a bunch of food onto a plate and handed it to her.
"It's not poisonous, so eat it, come on."
Sasha took it with a grim face. John didn't miss her bluish, dead fingernails that were clearly visible.
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