Chapter 20
***
Louise lifted the lid of the wooden box all the way off.
Inside was a black dress. It was dressy enough to be worn as a formal outfit, and it was made for the warm winter months.
She looked down at the black dress she had inherited from her mother, which she had worn for weeks already.
She didn't have a spare, so sometimes she had to wear clothes when it was dry and the hem was damp. What she had was a thin summer dress, and the shoulders were beginning to chafe.
The fox fur he'd given her had already been tucked away in a deep drawer, out of sight, out of mind. But Louise found it hard to take her eyes off the black dress.
Perhaps it was the fact that he had been so concerned about her mother's funeral.
Finally, she carefully reached into the box and pulled out the dress.
Maybe it wouldn't fit her, and this would be the one time she could send the gift back with an excuse.
She carefully removed her mother's dress.
With careful fingers, she unbuttoned the new dress and tried it on. She was perplexed by how well it fit, as if it had been tailored.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
Knock.
She held my breath, wondering if it was Caius, but then she heard Pauline's voice.
"Miss, may I come in for a moment?"
The maid entered the room and smiled when she saw Louise.
"Wow, you look great, thank goodness."
"May I ask how....................."
Pauline's eyes lit up like a dog with toys.
"His Excellency asked me if I could fit your dress for you, so I told him that I'd rather measure the dress you brought and make sure it was the same size. I hope you didn't think I was out of line?"
She tried on the dress as soon as she received it, but she couldn't blame the maid for what she had done. Louise sighed and asked.
"How long has His Excellency been preparing these things..................?"
"Perhaps the first week you were here, my lady," the maid replied, "I think he was grateful to you, and it was a great burden to have to find a tutor for the young lady so suddenly."
Louise was lucky if Pauline read his excessive compensation as anything but gratitude.
Louise made an embarrassed excuse.
"Actually.................. I didn't have a proper funeral for my mother. So I couldn't take off her clothes."
Pauline clasped her hand warmly.
"I know how you feel, Miss. My father died a few years ago, and that's when I came here."
Louise never got to take off her new dress. Pauline had taken her old dress away, promising to wash it well and returning it later.
In fact, she hadn't even been to the library for the past few days, avoiding Caius.
But she couldn’t keep avoiding Caius while wearing the clothes he gave her.
Of course, she didn’t really intend to take her mother’s ashes to Burg, but that didn’t change the fact that he had made a generous offer.
Louise was very grateful to him, and she decided to make sure to thank him this time.
***
"No! Go away!"
But Louise's steps toward Caius were halted as soon as she left the room. A shrill voice came from Miriam's room.
"Get out! Get out!"
She remembered Pauline's words about Miriam's occasional tantrums. If she kept up the ruckus, it would reach the ears of the man who thought his sister pathetic.
Louise turned and headed for Miriam's room.
Just then the door opened and a maid, looking like a wet mouse, ran out of the room sobbing.
"...."
It was the new girl who had been in and out of Miriam's room since the previous day. Louise quickly pulled out a handkerchief and asked.
"Are you okay? What happened?"
The maid sobbed nervously.
"It's just that..................the Lady didn’t want to take a bath, but the head maid said I must help her bathe today."
Just then, the sound of something breaking came from inside the room.
-Bang!
The maid trembled and grabbed the doorknob again. Louise urged her on.
"I'll go in."
"Oh, she must have broken the bottle, and I must go in and put it away before she hurt herself................"
"I know how to clean up glass bottles. I'll go in. You go and change your clothes."
Louise pushed the hesitant maid's back away from her and knocked on the door.
"Miriam, is there something wrong? May I come in?"
The response was so quick it was hard to believe it came from Miriam.
"No, don't come in!"
Louise took her time answering, allowing her to calm her excitement.
"But I heard something breaking, and the maid has gone to change for a while because her clothes are wet. I'll go in and see if Miriam is hurt."
Miriam began to sob.
"Please don't come in, please....... I'm not hurt. I can take a bath by myself....... I can do it by myself."
Louise let out a small sigh.
"Of course you can do it by yourself, Miriam is a lady, not a child."
Now there was only silent sobbing from the doorway. Louise pleaded again.
"How about this? I'll go in and clear the glass, and then I'll let the maid know that Miriam is a lady who can bathe herself, so she won't bother you again."
Miriam didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either. Louise spoke with determination.
"I'm going in now, and you know it's okay for girls to show their bodies, but if you don't want to show me, turn around or get in the tub and sit down, okay?"
She still didn't hear a response, so after a few moments, Louise opened the door.
The room was a mess of spilled water and broken glass, and Miriam was sitting backwards in a small tub. Her bare shoulders were so thin, she wondered if it was the same woman who had shouted so loudly earlier.
Louise was relieved to see that there were no drops of blood among the shattered glass.
"..................are you sure you're not hurt?"
The sobbing was still there, but Miriam’s head jerked back. Her half-damp silver hair glistened like a precious ornament made of silver.
Louise squatted down and gathered the glass together. Miriam's sobs eased slightly as the clinking of glass mingled with the occasional splash of water.
When she had gathered the larger pieces, she cleaned the floor with a mop the maid had brought her. When she looked back at Miriam, she was still sitting in the bathtub, dazed.
Perhaps she was wrong about being able to wash herself. Well, the Lady of the House has never known how to wash herself.
"Do you want me to help you wash your hair?"
Louise asked cautiously, as Miriam’s skinny shoulders shaking slightly. Louise continued, not taking a step closer.
"Before she died last month, my mother was ill for a long time, and I always washed her hair and bathed her, so I can do it as well as a maid."
She honestly expected a big no to come out of Miriam's mouth, but to her surprise, there was no response. She just stood still and listened.
Louise decided to pique Miriam's interest.
"My mother was a blonde like me, and her hair was almost as long as yours. She used to lather her long hair with soap and spin a skein of it into a white hat. Shall I show you?"
***
In the end, Louise was too busy helping Miriam to go to Caius.
As she lay in bed late at night, she thought of her mother. She washed and dried Miriam's hair, which was almost as long as hers.
In the darkness, she stretched out her hands and turned them back and forth. The whitish hands clasped and unclasped, remembering her touch.
She remembered the night when she swallowed her tears and wiped her mother's skin, her blond hair, her skinny arms and legs, her bony back........
"You don't have to look so sorry for me. Louise."
Her mother smiled and joked.
“I did the same for you when you were little. Koloch, I must have done it a hundred times."
For months, her mother's mind wandered, lost in the past.
She was dying, and she was struggling to pull herself together to say her last words to her.
"I think you're the one who should be sorry."
Louise said with a cheerfulness that she didn't recognize.
"You've got a long way to go to get to 100, so you'll have to make sure you get them all."
In a voice as faint as the wind, her mother replied that she would.
But when she had straightened herself up, she spoke Louise's name as painstakingly as if it were the last time.
"Louise Henriette Ermoli."
Shw could have pretended not to hear.
No, she probably couldn't.
Louise got on her knees at the foot of the bed and looked up, and her mother opened her other hand, the one she had been clenching tightly.
On her palm, paler than porcelain, rested a single pearl as large as a finger.
***
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