Chapter 46
***
At Kylan's question, Chaint let out a short sigh. The calmness on Kylan's face as he asked the question, despite the absurdity of it all, told him that he was having a hard time coming to terms with it.
"Yeah."
Seeing Kylan nod, he felt an overwhelming emotion.
"I can't let Euris go."
His face was still the same, but his voice was firm.
"I can't lose her again, so I'm asking you to do me a favor. Shouldn't we go to the Lepallon Empire regardless of Euris?"
"I don't think that would be possible."
At the obviousness of the answer, Chaint stared at him, speechless. Kylan spoke up.
"It's her choice."
Euris's choice, he rolled the words around in his mouth. Perhaps he had already foreseen the choice his wife would make.
"If she can't choose her own future, do you think Euris will be happy?"
"It's all her choice," Kylan added, watching Chaint’s eyes flutter, as if he could clearly foresee his misery. He couldn't say anything, because it was something he'd been thinking about all along.
"I................"
Chaint dragged his words out, unable to complete any sentences. Kylan asked him what he wanted, what he could possibly want for Euris, but he couldn't answer any of them.
Maybe, just maybe, Kylan knew Euris better than he did, and that feeling made him feel like every moment he was in this man's presence was grounded in the idea of letting her go.
"...."
Silence fell once more. The two men stared out the window, the atmosphere growing even heavier. The coffee in his cup had grown cold.
He had to get up, he thought. He straightened his clothes for departure, eager to see his wife alone in the mansion.
"This won't be the last time we meet."
As they watched, Kylan spat out something meaningful. As he started to rise, he stopped and looked at him. Kylan was looking at him, his face blank.
"What does that mean?"
"Literally, then."
Kylan stood up first, and after a brief goodbye, the taller man opened the door to the coffee shop and walked out, leaving only the sound of a jingling bell in his wake. Chaint stared at the now-empty seat across from him.
He stared at his cold coffee, feeling uneasy.
It was well into the night when Chaint arrived at the quiet mansion. It had been an unusually tiring day. After the long train ride, the fact that Kylan and he had met that afternoon seemed like a dream.
In the bedroom he'd quietly entered, Euris was sound asleep. He looked at his wife's sleeping face and suddenly remembered a distant past.
Kylan and Euris together on the night of her debutante ball. They might have heard it, but ever since that ball, there had been talk of how well suited they were as a couple.
That was the first time he'd seen Kylan and Euris together. It had been so long ago, counting to the last life, that it was now a vague memory.
But the image of the two of them dancing was as clear as if it had been imprinted in his mind, and as she danced in the man's arms, smiling happily, she was dazzling. It was enough to make him stare.
'Maybe I really fell for you then.'
Ready for bed, Chaint climbed into bed quietly so as not to wake Euris.
He stared at his wife's sleeping face.
Maybe she didn't have a choice in the first place.
Euris hadn't said anything, but he could feel her upcoming decision: she would leave, and she would try to stop the war.
The thought was almost too much for him to bear. The thought that her scent, voice, and face would soon be gone was enough to keep him mad.
He stared at his wife as she slept soundly beside him, like sand slipping between his palms. Her thick, platinum-colored hair spilled over the pillow.
He gently lifted her soft hair and kissed it soundlessly, her eyelashes matching the color of her hair, falling like snowflakes.
'My darling. If I begged you to please don't leave me, would you grant my request?'
He shook his head at the thought.
'It would be selfish of me to hold on to you in any way, and it would only break your heart to leave, and even if you were to pretend that my selfishness had not overcome you, you could never be happy watching your country burn.’
In her sleep, Euris was as beautiful as a delicate lantern flower, and he recalled slowly the feelings he had for her in his last life.
At first it was just a memory of the past, a small desire to return the favor, then pity and sympathy. And the next thing he knew, he was loving her more than ever.
He could only watch the little bird.............. as it prepared to leave.
He was building a house on the land he had bought in Belontia without his wife's knowledge.
'I want to live with you again, in that land of peace, in the hope that one day I will be able to live with you again.....................’
‘But I can't live without you.’
He placed another silent kiss on her hair.
‘What the hell am I going to do?’
Small murmurs echoed in the darkened room.
The man looked at his wife for a long time like that, then turned off the pale light and got under the covers.
***
In a few days, the late summer sun had completely set. The sky grew higher and bluer. Even in the daytime, a cool breeze announced the beginning of fall.
Chaint felt sorry for the passage of time.
"Everything is her choice."
"Do you think Euris will be happy if she can't choose her own future?"
Kylan wasn't wrong about anything. Euris was acting the same as usual, but subtly different; she was thinking of parting, he guessed.
The couple had gone through each day so routinely. The day went on as usual.
"Euris."
One day, a little more than a year had passed since he'd met Kylan. Chaint shook his wife in her sleep. The woman had just woken up and slowly opened her eyes with a groggy face.
"Yes, honey."
Euris blinked a couple times, realizing it was her husband who had woken her. He was staring down at her, looking different than usual, his face tinged with anxiety, like a crack in the mask he'd been wearing.
Realizing it, Euris sat up stiffly. Time to talk, or at least greet.
"Honey, why?"
As soon as she finished her question, he pulled her into his arms. She felt a small movement in his arms, startled by the sudden embrace.
"Don't go."
"...."
Euris sucked in a breath at the sound of his voice in her ear.
"Please."
The embrace grew stronger. The plaintive voice made her feel as if something inside her heart had fallen to the floor and shattered into pieces. The voice was a little shaky, but Chaint managed to keep his voice steady.
"It was flippant to suggest that we go to Belontia and live happily ever after. I'll do everything in my power to stop the war.”
“…”
“I'll find a way, so please, stay with me."
"Chaint.................."
Euris gently pushed him away and locked eyes with him, his blue eyes seeming unusually deep in the clear morning light. Looking at him, she felt her heart break.
She couldn't let him know that she was following Kylan to Lepallon, and if he did, how worried he would be, and the thought of it made her stomach tighten.
‘Kylan, so this is how you feel.’
It was ironic, she thought, as if she could finally understand the position of her childhood friend from her last life, the one who had hidden everything from her, and then walked away. Euris cupped her hands warmly around his cheeks.
"Hey, honey."
"Yeah, I'm listening."
"I promise."
"...."
"I will come back to you."
Euris said what had been on her mind all along.
She couldn’t part with this man she loved like this. She would come back to him, no matter what it took, and she would not choose between stopping the war and love.
But Chaint lowered his gaze weakly. A long shadow fell beneath his pale lashes.
****
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