Sorry 44

 Chapter 44

    ****

    Euris didn't have the courage to ignore Kylan's words, but she couldn't explain everything to Chaint either. She didn't want to worry him too much when there was only one way to go.

    Her upcoming decision was driving her crazy. Even though he had told her everything on their trip to the Pyrenees, she still had a vague hope that there might be a way.

    A mountain of emotions washed over her in a drunken rush.

    'I shouldn't have loved him in this life, too...................’

    Her cheeks stung from how hard she cried. Euris slumped over the table, barely breathing.

    "Haha................"

    Then she laughed. She laughed through her tears in a way that would make anyone else think she was crazy.

    ‘Maybe you and I are not meant to be, and I have to deal with another breakup.’

    Her consciousness was foggy from the alcohol that had taken over her body. She couldn't find the strength to straighten her posture. Euris lay on her stomach and slowly closed her eyes.

    In her faint consciousness, she heard someone enter the room.

    "Euris."

    She listened to the warmth of his voice and tried not to fall asleep, but the drunkenness threatened to consume her.

    Chaint had been worried when she didn’t stir in their bedroom after she'd returned later in the day; she must have met Kylan in the capital. And from the dark look on her face, things hadn't gone as planned. Euris needed time alone to think.

    He thought, and out of respect for her, stayed in his office late into the night. He wondered what kind of conversation she might have had with Kylan, but decided he'd have to ask later, and returned to the bedroom late in the day.

    He paced the room for a while, then, impatient, he called for the butler.

    It was nearly midnight, and he usually didn't call on his servants late at night, but now he was impatient.

    "You called."

    The butler arrived and ruffled his hair.

    "Where is my wife?"

    "She went to the rose room about ...... an hour ago."

    "What did you say?"

    "She asked me to bring the liquor to that room, and then............... headed that way. I thought master knew, I'm sorry."

    At the urgency in his master's voice, the butler bowed even deeper. As soon as he heard him, Chaint brushed past the butler and left the bedroom with great strides.

    The Rose Room. His heart sank at the words. In her last life, this was the room Euris always went to when she was in trouble.

    The second floor of the mansion was mostly private, used by the couple. A short walk across the hall, and he was in the Rose Room. In his last life, he had only seen Euris beyond this    room.

    He opened the door and saw his wife lying still on the table not far away.

    "Euris."

    Chaint rushed to her side and pulled her to her feet. The unsteadiness of her upper body gave away how much she'd been drinking. And the pervasive smell of alcohol.

    "Euris................"

    He called her name again. Her white skin and beautiful eyes were tightly closed and unmoving. Her cheeks were stained with tears and slightly bruised. It was impossible to tell how much she had cried. The breath she exhaled was tinged with the odor of alcohol.

    "Honey................"

    Euris whimpered, unable to open her eyes, as if she hadn't realized Chaint’s presence until after the fact. Chaint held her still in his arms. 

    "Chaint."

    Euris's voice suddenly seemed to gain strength in his embrace, and then it fell apart again. The sight was adorable, and it brought a smile to Chaint’s lips. Her eyes were closed and she smiled a sad smile.

    "Talk to me, honey."

    The sweetness in his voice drew Euris deeper into his arms, pulling at the hem of his shirt and burying her face in his chest, whimpering in an inaudible voice.

    "..................I don't know how."

    "...."

    "I have to go to Kylan."

    Euris looked unconscious. He stroked her tiny head, still. Too drunk to even feel the touch, the woman continued, thumping her fist against Chaint’s chest resentfully. 

    "It's not like I haven't thought about running away with you........."

    "...."

    "But what about Alton if there's a war................?"

    With that, Euris began to sob, her tears soaking his chest. Chaint slowly stroked his wife's back as she sobbed in his arms.

    "What about Alton, the man I grew up with, how can I live happily with you, just the two of us, knowing that so many lives will be shattered by war?”

    “Live happily ever after, it's not supposed to happen, if it does, if it does...............!" 

    She sobbed, choking back tears. After a long pause to catch her breath, she spoke.

    "If that happens, I'll never be happy..................."

    Thump. At her last sentence, Chaint felt his heart drop; the words, the impossibility of happiness, felt like they were chopping and digging at him.

    Euris made only a colorless gasp as she fell asleep with those last words.

    This thought made her cry until her cheeks were swollen.

    His heart sank.

    ‘You’ll never be fully happy in this life either.’

    He felt like punching himself in the ribcage, like it was his fault.

    In her last life, Euris often drank like this. She didn't say much, but most of the reason she drank was probably because of him, Kylan.

    The look in her eyes was so painfully hard that he didn't ask, didn't bat an eye, didn't ask for anything else, but he couldn't believe she was drinking like this, this time because of him...................

    "I should go to Kylan."

    He mulled over her words, then answered in a small voice.

    "No."

    Don't leave.

    He shook his head from side to side. No matter how much he thought about it, it didn't make sense to part with her.

    Naturally, Euris hadn't heard him, sleeping soundly.

    ‘Can't I fill you with happiness, and even if we can't stop the war, can't I cover your eyes and ears and keep you from knowing the tragic news?’

    He could feel his love twisting more and more. No matter what, Euris’s happiness was his priority, and he couldn't choose a future where she wasn't happy.

    But what choice did he have at this moment that would make her happy?

    Even if she went to Kylan, she would be very distressed and unhappy. Filled with guilt and love for her, he saw a future that would never be happy.

    He stared at his wife, his heart pounding. It had been so hard to see this beautiful woman suffer since her last life. He wanted to make her happy.

    That was all he could hope for. From the moment he opened his eyes again in this life, all he could think about was Euris.

     ‘How    can you ever be happy?’

    It was frustrating. He felt so inadequate, unable to make the person he cared about the most happy. Chaint lifted his wife's limp form and held her still. The weight of her in his arms felt so light.

    ‘Eat well....................’

    I should have fed you better, I should have loved you more, I should have made you laugh more, I should have kept you from crying so much.

    He walked out of the Rose Room with Euris in his arms. They stepped out into the long, dimly lit hallway, Euris's arms fluttering like feathers in his grasp.

    To ease her arms, he picked her up and carried her. He took a few steps and then stopped.

    And each time he did, he stared at her. She looked lovely, sleeping soundly like a doll, as if she hadn't cried so much in years.

    ‘I'll find a way, I'll find an ending that will keep you and me together, that will stop the war. Just hang in there a little longer until then.’

    But he wasn't sure himself. His blue eyes glowed darkly in the low light, unsure if such a thing existed.

    "I love you, Euris."

    He whispered to her in her drunken sleep. The short, inaudible words echoed around him and then faded away. The man's figure stood in the darkness of the corridor, looking distant and lonely.

    ****

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