Chapter 36
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-…..
The king did not dare to argue with the words that were spoken.
For there was nothing in the queen's words that was unreasonable.
The King's body trembled as he stood there patiently, looking out of place.
It was clear that the queen was the winner of this argument, but only because the child she had buried in her chest was nearby.
The queen didn't stop there. She didn't stop there.
- I suddenly remembered something Your Majesty had once said. The Queen has no daughters.
The Queen mimicked the King's voice.
The king's face contorted strangely, as if he had some unbearable embarrassment.
-⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ Shut up at that point.
- It's not funny, Your Majesty is full of contradictions, and I don't know who's talking down to whom, and I don't know where the red herring comes from.
- Didn't you hear me tell you to shut up?
- Who am I to be silent for? I've been silent for a long time, too, with much respect, Your Majesty.
The queen burst into a fit of giggles and high-pitched laughter.
She looked like a madwoman, but at the same time, she looked like she was seeing something infinitely pitiful.
It wasn't something I could understand or accept, but I felt a strange kinship with her.
Despair, at least in the moment of facing something I couldn't handle, not of my own volition, but of someone else's. Frustration. Madness. Sadness and hatred, anger and resignation.
Because all of those feelings were ones I knew well.
And I had only endured them for fifty days, whereas the queen had endured them for thirty years.
After enduring such a long time of toil, she smiled beautifully when a ray of light finally broke through the clouds.
- I'll never have to hear another word about that tiresome thing again. It's been a long, long, long life.
- I can't listen anymore.
- I'm so happy these days, every day, I can hardly stand it. You must really hate to hear me hum, for you must think me more horrible than the wench who left you with unclean blood, who left you with an irreparable scar.
-Queen!
-But you know what?
The queen's tongue, aptly named the Tongue Sword, was not harsh.
She shouted harshly.
-I feel relieved to see that unclean thing die. If I had known what It was, I would have killed it long ago. For my sake, for the sake of my abandoned child, you can't even use the fact that you didn't know as an excuse!
The King's clenched fist vibrated wildly.
-I'll finally be able to put my feet up and sleep, this torturous insomnia will finally be over.
The king's patience seemed to be wearing thin.
The king raised his huge hand.
The black, shadowy hand swung unceremoniously. Then, with a thud, a dull, dull noise shook the ornate ruins.
The Queen, unable to overcome the King's power, swayed in her seat. Her hair, which had been neatly arranged, came loose in an instant and fluttered in the air.
We glanced at each other, both bewildered by the suddenness of the situation.
Somehow, I felt like I was looking at something I shouldn't have.
The Queen straightened up as if nothing had happened and smoothed her disheveled hair.
Her left cheek was red and puffy. Blood trickled down her busted lip.
She didn't move, didn't scream. She did not cradle her cheek.
She still smiled. As if she was actually happy with everything she was facing right now.
- Why, are you sad that the child of a woman you once loved is dying? Are you heartbroken? Are you in pain?
Well, what about this?
Bizarre was a good word for it.
Thirty years.
In what way, day by day, over the course of that time, which I would not dare to live through, did he become so insane that a person could become like that.
- I gave birth to a sick child⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ and from then on, I was a sinner, a sinner of this world, breathing in pain that didn't die, living a life that didn't feel like living.
- If the queen was the mother, I was the father. Where, do you think my heart was at ease?
- If you were uncomfortable, you wouldn't have abandoned the prince, and you wouldn't have had another child with another woman, and you wouldn't have been so uncomfortable with me.
For a moment, I thought about the betrayal.
I wondered if they were both trying to escape the guilt of abandoning their children.
It's none of my business, and none of my business to understand.
- Did it ever occur to you to abandon your child and go fuck another cunt? Oh, was it because you're a lowly animal dominated by your lower half?
The mockery was blatant.
-Your Majesty has only just begun to know half the pain I've been feeling, and, oh, by the way.
The queen then did the same, slapping the king across the cheek.
A harsh, angry sound echoed, unlike the heavy blow earlier.
A red handprint was left on the king's cheek. It would not fade for some time.
-I'll give this back to you.
The Queen muttered softly and turned away as if nothing had really happened.
Thud. Thud. She trudged on until she ran into us, standing side by side in the hallway.
As if I weren't even there, she only gave my husband a slight bow before continuing to walk away.
The king, on the other hand, stood still for a moment.
His hands clutched his face in agony.
After some time had passed, the King began to head in the opposite direction from the Queen.
Bang, bang.... The sound of footsteps crying in despair.
Only when they were out of sight did we realize that we were breathing against each other.
It was as if a violent storm had passed, leaving us unable to breathe properly.
-That....
Staring down the empty hallway, he chewed on his lip.
- What in the world have you been doing, putting up with this?
- What?
- The first day I saw you. The queen would not leave you alone.
His clasped hands were shaking.
He was angry with me for not being able to speak.
I felt like I'd gained an ally, even if it was just by showing rough emotions on my behalf.
- To this day, when I think of you, I can't help but think of your bloodied feet, the way you walked barefoot through the palace, barely able to remove your shoes, your toes scarred from stepping on the debris on the stone floor. How did you endure all that?
- There was nothing I could do about it, except endure it. But.......
I looked toward the place where the Queen had disappeared.
At first I thought it was a snowy field, bathed in morning light.
But there were only inky black shadows in her wake.
I muttered dumbly at the reversal of my impression.
-What a poor woman.
- Poor? Who?
- Her Majesty, I mean.
There were things I could finally see.
The Queen, who had been slowly going mad for thirty years, was a poor man at heart.
Perhaps even more so than me, walking in a gray world.
-I know that when I tell you this, you will ask me if I pity myself, but....... Your Highness.
I raised my head stiffly.
- When on earth did you see me like that?
As I was trying to look at him, he cocked his head as if to avoid my gaze.
-Bloody feet? When is our first meeting, Your Highness?
-...... You forgot.
His ears flushed for some reason as he answered a beat late.
- When you were sixteen.
- Sixteen? Then, when?
- It was summer. Anyway.
He turned away, as if there was something he couldn't answer.
- If we go now, I'm sure we’ll run into His Majesty the King.
- Yes. That's fine, it's the king who should be uncomfortable, not me.
With a small groan, he took a reluctant step.
As we walked through the seemingly endless corridors of opulence, we saw the king standing in front of a large room.
The door was wide open, but he dared not step inside.
He stood there, gazing wistfully into its depths.
The king was showing the world the shabby, small back of an outcast.
***
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