Sorry 26

Chapter 26

    ***

    Chaint helped Euris to the carriage as she staggered to her feet. He didn't say anything, as he could tell from her expression what conversation had taken place.

    For the rest of the ride home, Euris said nothing, just leaned her face against the window and stared blankly at the trees whizzing by.

    ‘Kylan liked me.’

    Euris felt her own heart, now completely cold. Aside from her heartbreak, she was surprised her heart wasn't stirred by his confession of liking her.

    Even though her heart was still heavy, unlike what she thought it would be.

    She stared blankly at the man in front of her.

    'My husband, the love of my life, perfect and precious.’

    And then she thought of her childhood friend of twenty years, fighting in another country, alone. She hoped he was happy there, but the last time she saw Kylan's face in this life, it was not that of a happy man.

    ‘What was I supposed to do?’

    She closed her eyes, her head throbbing. Everything felt overwhelming.

    'Before this winter.’

    She thought back to the day Kylan left. It was a little earlier than usual. Perhaps it was because her emotions had changed with their conversation, Euris guessed.

    ‘Am I just supposed to be happy here with Chaint?’

    She rubbed her temples.

    ‘I wonder if I can do that.’

    "Does your head hurt?"

    Chaint, who had been watching his wife closely, asked in a concerned tone. Euris shook her head and smiled bitterly. He reached out and took his wife's hand. She mumbled something incoherent.

    "What was I supposed to do?"

    "Euris...... you didn't do anything wrong."

    "I didn't want to be hurt, even in this life."

    "I know, I understand."

    Chaint shifted in his seat and wrapped his arms around Euris' shoulders. His embrace was so full and warm that she leaned back and closed her eyes.

    ‘Kylan, you must be alone, even in this moment.’

    She knew what it was like to be alone, to have to carry those feelings.

    ‘I thought it was okay to hate you, because you hurt me so much in my last life, but even then, you were just looking out for me.’

    Somehow, Euris had a feeling that happiness would never be easy for her again.

    ***

    The sound of summer grasshoppers, slowly gathering, played in the background both during the day and at night. It was a sound that was heard every year with the changing of the seasons, but to Euris it somehow sounded like something from the distant past.

    Chaint traveled more frequently. Euris tried to keep herself busy in a different way. Never one to show her face in social circles, made appointments to social gatherings with the help of her maid.

    She didn't want to end up like the pathetic person she was in her last life, doing nothing.

    And because, when she was alone in her spacious mansion, an unbearable, unexplained emotion would sometimes overtake her.

    The lonely sound of insects, especially in the bedroom close to the garden, sometimes gave her a sense of desolation. Like that day in the past. The early evening summer sun was casting a desolate glow. Outside the window, a gardener was pruning the branches of a tree, just beginning to escape the midday heat. With a creak and a snap, the gnarled branches piled up under the    ladder.

    It was an off day. Euris watched the gardener's regular work with a blank stare. He picked up a large pair of double-edged scissors, selected a branch to cut, and cut it without hesitation. The branches, full of green leaves, fell limply.

    The insects cried more pitifully. The sound echoed in her ears, and she automatically began to replay the past in her mind.

    "No deep water. No fast water."

    She was fifteen years old. On the day they went to the Hebron mansion, before going into the ravine, Kylan and Euris had been given a stern warning about safety by Frelona.

    Normally, she would have accompanied them, but this time they had insisted on playing alone.

    Frelona couldn't resist the two adolescents. After several reminders and promises, they finally agreed.

    They were allowed into the ravine, as they were both fairly good swimmers.

    But Euris lost her footing in the stream. She was swept down a rapids in a potholed ditch and nearly drowned. She had taken in so much water that she couldn't speak, and her mind was becoming    increasingly fuzzy.

    The last thing she saw before she blacked out was Kylan swimming toward her without fear.

    Kylan was bigger than her at the time, but he hadn't hit his full growth spurt yet, so the height difference wasn't as significant as it was now.

    Still, he swam to where Euris had fallen, even though it would have put him in danger.

    "Euris! Euris......!"

    When her vision cleared, water was spewing out of her mouth, and all she could see was Kylan on the verge of tears.

    ‘Ah, yes, that was the first time I saw you cry that day....’

    He pulled Euris out of the water and frantically woke her up on the gravel on the side of the ravine. His heart sank. He'd performed CPR on her.

    "Thank God. Thank God."

    Kylan repeated the word as he cradled the coughing Euris in his arms. They were soaked, dripping wet, and the color of the gravel on which they lay deepened.

    The sound of midsummer insects chirped softly, and the two children dried their clothes under the shade of a tree for a long time.

    "Don't tell my mother."

    Fearful of being scolded, Euris insisted on a promise.

    ‘You were a good boy, and you really kept it a secret after that.’

    The sound of insects, just like that day. The intensity of the summer sun. A knock at the window brought Euris out of her reverie.

    She quickly wiped the grim expression from her face, and a soft smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

    “Lady, Baroness Zabina’s tea party this week.”

    A slightly older maid followed the head maid, who had been organizing more and more gatherings lately. Euris was able to participate in many of the activities with the help of this skillful maid.

    Writing invitations, answering letters, etc. was something that Euris was able to get used to after a few times.

    "Yes, thank you every time."

    She couldn't be like this because of Kylan forever. Those who had to go had to go. Mixed fates were beyond the scope of a single human being.

    There was no reason to grieve anymore. Euris smiled more deliberately.

    ‘I just need to stop the war. That's the best I can do.’

    Talking to her fellow young ladies proved to be more than she expected, and they welcomed her as a newcomer to their social circle.

    Partly because Euris was going to be a marquis’s hostess, and partly because her mother, Frelona, had a strong influence on her.

    She had been looking forward to the weekend's tea party at Baroness Zabina's mansion, but for a different reason. Euris had felt an inner kinship with Lady Zabina in her last life.

    ‘Maybe I was too defensive in my last life.’

    She remembered how she hadn't even thought about overcoming her past trauma. And now, she vowed to take a new step.

    In her last life, Euris had been plagued by feelings of self-doubt. It had lasted until the day of her wedding to Chaint. On the day of the wedding, Baroness Zabina came to the bridal chamber.

    Euris had no friends, so the bridal suite was filled with a small group of her parents' acquaintances. Baroness Zabina approached her intimately, took her hand, and patted it.

    "You've been through a lot."

    Funny how the words crushed her. Something snapped and a tear slid down her cheeks. Embarrassed by the uncontrollable tears, she quickly wiped her face.

    It was no secret that Euris was a broken person because of Kylan, and it hadn't been easy to withstand the stares.

    Her tears held all of those emotions. Lady Zabina was unfazed and patted her hand back.

    "I want you to know that there are others like me who support you."

    The words were brief, but she remembered feeling encouraged by the warmth of the words, so she looked forward to the tea party. When she saw Baroness Zabina's invitation, she was thrilled.

    And finally, the day arrived. Euris went out with a little more care.

    She hoped to have a chance to talk to Baroness Zabina, but things went badly at the tea party.

    ***

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