Chapter 33
***
That's how the cruelest words were spoken.
I was horrified, and I had to think of that child.
Why, this arrow had to be pointed at her, the innocent.
- No, no, no.
- If you live, what will you not do? I will turn the temple against the enemy and destroy the new Seeer.
-No, that's not going to happen. It's not even possible.
Calmly, I recited the truth as it was.
The child I'd been forced to abandon for days.
The memory of the hours of her anguished crying whispered pleadingly to the darkness that lay dormant in the corner of my mind.
But she was not a child who deserved to hear those words. She would be the one who would be greater than anyone else.
That she deserved all the time I didn't have.
It was not because I was good that I thought that.
I was a coward, afraid of the judgment that would be heaped upon me, that I had taken someone for my own life that I couldn't change.
- Even if the prophecy were to change, it wouldn't be for that. It's a damned contradiction that someone has to die for someone else to live.
And then I remembered what I heard from both of the chosens yesterday.
With a faint smile, I drew the line as firmly as I could.
-prolonging lives at the expense of others is not something I wish to do, even if it were possible.
-......Grand Duchess.
He looked as if he might cry at any moment, at the resolve I projected.
- Can't you think of me for a moment?
All I could do was plead with him in desperation.
His red gaze flickered pleadingly.
It was as if the words that the gods had rolled into the sky for our days were drowning in the horizon.
I saw in his gaze such frustration and despair that night finally fell on a world bereft of light, and it swam for all eternity in a doomed ocean where nothing could be seen.
- Still, can you say that?
So in the short time that he spoke, Largo. I've thought of everything. What was I to him, what was I to you.
How could he say he was willing to sacrifice someone so casually?
Who was I? How dared I dare to take someone else's life, even to the point of prolonging my own. Did I deserve it?
- More so, I think, for your sake.
I remembered the misunderstanding the queen had cleared up. And I realized.
To you, I was a human being worthy of you.
And it hurt.
I was finally able to smile and look genuine.
- You said you've been trying to figure out how to save me for the past few days.
Largo, in hindsight, I became king of the world with those words.
- In all the time that has passed, I have misunderstood you so much. I thought you were heartless, callous, cold, and...... so, I thought.
- ......Ha.
- There's no affection between us. We're just another couple. Like His Majesty the King and Her Majesty the Queen, it's only natural and right.......
A royal couple who was only connected by politics.
- I knew it wasn't one. I hadn't done anything for you, but you had done a lot for me.
My lips trembled as I continued to talk.
- Nevertheless, nevertheless.......
He pretended to be unaffected, but his heart was not.
I clenched my fists tightly, trying to calm myself.
- To dream of a miracle that won't happen...... To ask me to hope for something that doesn't exist, is too harsh.
- Isn't it harsh to leave me like this?
I thought his voice had become a little fierce with his straightforward questioning.
- I had to stand by and watch, and that's all you wanted me to do?
If I was being completely honest, I was happy to have him there, hoping for that miracle. Happy to have him there, dreaming of me disappearing beyond this endless horizon.
Our gazes locked, and I felt like I could break into pieces at any moment. I could only whisper as calmly as I could.
- Your Highness, I have one question.
- yes.......
- Are you more scared of this situation than I am?
How dare you, I asked, cutting him off, and he stared at me.
-Or are you more afraid than I am?
-....
-I am the most scared, afraid.
It was undeniably sincere, so it's no wonder my voice was shaking.
Still, there was nothing I could do but try to remain calm.
- Even now, at this very moment, I am living one day at a time, one step at a time, slowly, no, quickly...... I'm moving away from the world and closer to heaven.
- Please.......
- Well, that's me now.
- Please, please, please don't say that.
It hurt like hell to feel his gaze break on me.
- There has to be a way...... out of this ridiculous situation somewhere. There has to be.
My cruel hope was shredded again.
- I know me best, and that's the way it should be.
Shaking my head a couple times, I took a step away from him.
- to give you a definitive answer. No. I'll say it again: there is no way.
-Grand Duchess!
- Your Highness. Do you think it's easy for me to say this, to declare, with my own mouth, that I am the one who must go?
He fell silent at my question.
- So if Your Highness will allow me a little, just a little.......
I barely swallowed the sobs that were rising up from the depths of my soul, sobbing.
-Smilingly...... Can't you be gentle with me?
-How...... How can I be strong right now, in this situation?
The questioning voice held a void, I thought.
His eyes, finally shattering into pieces, embraced the emptiness of the world.
-⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯I, too, dread the day when you are gone.
That clear confession cut through my heart like a knife. The hands that gripped my arms trembled with fear.
- I dread the days I'll wake up alone in the morning, the days I'll spend without you...... I'm already dreading the days that will feel like an eternity.
I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t help but think of the past. The day I swore an eternal lie to my god.
That day, time was pure white.
There was a priest at the foot of the statue, and we stood side by side before the priest, each of us wearing a pair of rings on our left hand that spoke of eternity.
Then we raised our left hands in front of a crowd of witnesses.
Each of our raised left hands became a pair, side by side, and each was fitted with a bud.
For the first time, his fingers overlapped mine, one by one, one by one.
The first time he and I were, in a way, fully joined as one.
That day, transported back to that time, I muttered.
-......to God, to be the wife of Your Highness.
That moment, that vow, still so clearly imprinted.
- Until the end of this life, I will honor and follow you with love and trust.
I dare say, with God as my witness, what was the answer to my vow to him.
'By God, I take you, Your Royal Highness, to be my husband, and will cherish and love you, and you alone, until the day I die.'
- And though unbearable trials may come to test us, I will not let go of the hand that now clasps mine, but will walk silently behind you.
'Even if unexpected winds come and try to tear us apart with hardships and suffering, I will remain your steadfast support and overcome all difficulties.'
- In a world that doesn't understand, even if everyone else in the world turns their backs on you, I will stand side by side with you.
‘I will trust your choices and actions, and I will follow you without any doubt or delusion.’
'In a world that doesn't understand you, I will be the only one who understands you, even if everyone else misunderstands you. I will be your only refuge, and I will never abandon you.’
This was my vow to the man I thought was full of lies.
***
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Write a comment
Milan (Monday, 11 December 2023 18:11)
when they are speaking, can u use double quotes like your other stories for consistency please? Dash is a bit weird.
Dora (Monday, 11 December 2023 18:34)
@Milan, that’s how the original text is. I don’t want to change it