Sorry 20

Chapter 20

    ***

    "Lady, a gentleman has asked me to throw away the letters, but I've been keeping them because I couldn't bear to throw them away. I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but if he ever asks, will you please pretend not to know------."

    The sound that came out of his mouth made her gasp.

    Throw them away?

    Since receiving Kylan's letter yesterday, Euris hadn't been able to sleep all night. She wanted to find out who had hidden the letters from her and for what reason.

    With her mind racing, she waited for the morning sun to rise and stood outside in time for the next day's mailman.

    When he saw her face, he was so startled that he thought he saw a ghost. When she asked him to come into the mansion to talk, he obeyed.

    Like a criminal determined to make a confession. And when Jake described the description of the man who had instructed him to throw the letters away, Euris was so incredulous that she had to ask again.

    No matter how many times the question was repeated, Jake's answer remained the same, pointing to the young master of Eridov.

     "...... Why?"

    She muttered, almost to herself. Jake couldn't say anything, only shuddered. She decided to keep it a secret from her parents for now.

    She wanted to handle it on her own terms, as it could cause major problems with her engagement. 

    Euris reassured Jake everything was fine and  sent him on his way.

    He repeatedly thanked the tender-hearted, good-natured lady for the favor, and then left the manor.

    After his departure, Euris remained alone in the parlor, lost in thought. Throughout the early hours of yesterday, a hunch had been bubbling beneath the surface of her mind that this might have been the work of a strangely different Chaint.

    But she had turned away, never wanting to think of the name.

    Chaint Eridov.

     It had been well rumored that her relationship with Kylan was extraordinary, so it wasn't as if she didn't understand his wariness.

    But...... did he not trust her?

    In her last life, he hadn't been like this; he'd been the kind of man who would overlook any of his wife's foibles and mistakes. 

    She paced around for a moment.

    "What if this man I love is not the same man as he was in the past?”

    She wanted to hear what he was hiding. She wanted to forgive him and love him the same way she always had.

    She had to meet him.

    ***

    Euris.

    I love the puffy flesh under your eyes that folds up when you smile. And those dimples that move pretty. 

    You know when you're in a good mood, you hum a nursery rhyme from your childhood.

    You prefer chamomile to peppermint, and you always add two crystallized sugar cubes to your coffee. You prefer plain silk to lacey skirts, and you prefer a brush to a heavy coat, to the point where it's a small pleasure of mine to carry a shawl for you in case you get cold.

    You, the person you are now, never realized that I knew this much about you...... even in my wildest dreams.

    In my last life, after we were married, you would sometimes look off into the unknown with a blank stare, and I couldn't blame you, even though I knew the end of that stare was Kylan Hebron.

    Ah, that terrible man who had left for another country, you must have loved him with all your heart.

    Ever since I realized that I was in love with you⋯⋯you and him⋯that lousy feeling of being caught in the middle of two people's love kept nagging at me.

    Even though I knew that you two had grown apart and would never see each other again, I would look into your eyes, which seemed to be covered in memories, and I would shudder with an insane sense of alienation.

    And then, years later, when it finally dawned on me that your feelings were for me, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

    It felt like all my hard work had finally paid off, and I couldn't wait to see what the future held for us together.

    I thought I had finally won your heart..........

    I know everything about you, and now I have to make it all go away just because we're back to where we were eight years ago.

    I thought I finally had a place in your heart, and now it's gone.

    But in the short time I've had with you since I've been back in the past, I've never been happier. Somehow, the way you seem to love me with all your heart, I'm overwhelmed with happiness that I can't contain. It's like I'm dreaming.

    Knowing that I could go on dates that I never got to in my last life, and show you the good things in the world that I wanted to show you, energized me.

    To the point where I, a non-believer, thought it was just another opportunity handed down by God.......

    But I guess he didn't intend to give me only unconditional happiness.

    When you and Kylan meet and talk, you'll find out the truth, and you'll go back to him, because it's so obvious that you'd choose the man you've been with for 20 years over your fiancé of only a few months.

    A solid greenhouse of two people that I could never break or disrupt⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯. I may have to wait in agony for you to look at me again, in front of him, until the day that may or may not come.

    That's why I didn't want to tell you the truth, because I was afraid that if you knew the truth, you would fly away from my side like a free bird, to the side of the one you truly love.

    I'd rather have you stay by my side as a clueless fool, even if it's the wrong way......

    For the rest of the night, Chaint read the letter in silence. Outside the window, a carriage bearing the sigil of the Count of Either rumbled in.

    When he saw it, he threw the papers on his desk into the fireplace. With a roar, the flames consumed the paper.

    Chaint came forward. It was cold, and his lack of a coat showed that he was in a hurry.

    He held a tan shawl in one hand, and as soon as Yuris stepped out of the carriage, he wrapped it affectionately around her bare neck.

    "It's cold out, Euris, and you’ve had a hard time getting here."

    Euris dazedly stared into his face.

    ‘I don't want to break my trust with this man.’

    Still feeling her own heart, she followed him up the manor's stairs to his office.

    It was a familiar space to her, decorated in a mix of old-world and modern styles that mirrored his simplicity.

    He had her sit on a couch and sent a servant to bring refreshments and tea. Inside the study, the heat of the blazing fireplace was comforting.

    "I read your letters."

    When the simple refreshments and tea were served, he finally spoke. His voice was tinged with guilt.

    "I'm sorry, I was wrong, and I won't make any excuses."

    It was what she needed to hear. Telling the truth, asking for forgiveness.

    Given the way she and Kylan's relationship had been presented to others, Euris could understand where Chaint was coming from.

    But most importantly, he had ordered the mailman to throw the letters away.

    She wanted to ask him how he knew the letters were coming, and how he knew what it said.

    Kylan said he had something to tell her.

    What did he know it was going to say, and why did he hide it?

    She wanted to ask him everything, but the words wouldn't come easily, so she kept quiet.

    When he realized she was upset, he pulled her hand to his lap. When she felt his warmth, she realized that she hadn't seen him in a while, and she missed him more than she hated him.

    'There had to be a reason for what he did......'

    In her previous life, he was the right person. He wouldn't do something like this for no reason, and she wanted to forgive him and hug him as he apologized.

    When Euris was silent, Chaint, who was sitting across from her, glanced over and moved to sit closer to her. It was a long couch, and there was plenty of room on either side, but he sat close to Euris’s side.

    ***

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