Sorry 7

Chapter 7

    ***

    At Kylan's touch, Euris rose from her chair, and though she hadn't realized it when she was sitting, her body swayed slightly as she stood up, as if the floor were about to give way. Then Kylan put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

    Once in the room, she meekly sat down on the bed. She couldn't help but feel woozy. Drinking this much wasn't unusual for her when she was 27, but perhaps her body wasn't used to alcohol at 20.

    "Euris."

    Kylan called her name with a hint of concern in his voice. At the sound of his voice, Euris opened her slightly closed eyes and looked up at him. Kylan stood in front of the bed and locked eyes with her.

    "Why?"

    "You're strange today..."

    "I know."

    He looked speechless.

    By now, the waning afternoon sun was casting long shadows. The sunlight through the window was weaker than it had been in the morning, bathed the unlit room in a low orange glow that added to the dreary atmosphere.

    Kylan must have sensed it, because he smiled awkwardly. The smile seemed so far away.

    ‘You're going to push me away anyway.’

    Her instinct to not want to be hurt screamed at her that if this was indeed a return to the past, this relationship with Kylan should have ended here and now.

    "...What's going on?"

    "Nothing."

    Euris paused to catch her breath.

    "I don't want to be friends with you anymore, Kylan."

    It was something she needed to say sometime, before Kylan pushed her away. The sooner she did, the less she'd feel sorry for herself.

    So she drunkenly blurted it out. Kylan looked greatly shocked at her words.

    "...."

    "Please don't come to see me personally for the last time today."

    Kylan bit his lip hard, and it made Yuris feel bad. But she couldn't help it. She looked away and closed her eyes. Then a memory flashed through her mind.

    Kylan's father, the Count of Hebron, was dying. Some time in the future, he would be diagnosed with a terminal illness and given a time limit.

    And as the disease worsened, his health declined rapidly.

    As she remembered, she wondered for a moment if she should tell him now. But she shook her head. It was already an old problem, and it would only prolong her anxiety.

    It was around the same time that Kylan had started pushing her away, and she wondered if there was a reason he couldn't tell her.

    But no matter how many times she asked, he never gave her a reason, just abandoned her.

    Her past self was willing to give everything for him. She would stand by his side no matter what happened in the world.

    And no matter how hard she tried to convey her feelings to him, Kylan wouldn't listen and kept pushing her away.

    ‘I’ve seen how broken I am, how much pain I'm in because of him.’

    As I let my mind wander to that point, a new wave of hatred for him washed over me.

    "Didn't you hear me?"

    Kylan's head snapped back at the sharpness of her voice.

    "......Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"

    "...."

    "Give me a reason, Euris."

    He added in a wistful voice. The words reminded Euris of the man she once clung to, and her heart hardened.

    She replied in a dry voice.

    "You'll find out for yourself soon enough."

    With that, Euris turned her head away, indicating that she had no intention of continuing the conversation.

    After standing there for a moment, she heard Kylan quietly leave the room.

    She felt her heart crush with an unknown guilt, but she clasped her hands together and forced the emotion out. If she was kind to Kylan, her good feelings for him would return.

    'He'll push me away again, like he did before.’

    She had no intention of repeating the hurt of her last life.

    Suddenly, she remembered Chaint. She remembered her mother's words about a party in a week, and she jumped out of bed.

    She was still dizzy, but it was an event she couldn't afford to forget, and she had to take notes somewhere. She staggered over to the bookshelf and pulled out her journal.

    ‘It's been a long time, this journal.’

    When Kylan had left her and moved out of the country, Euris had burned the journal she had kept for ten years. She'd been writing in it since she was about 10 years old, so in hindsight it was a waste. But at the time, she couldn't bear to let go of it because it contained her feelings and thoughts about him.

    She flipped through the pages of the most recent section of the diary, which was still half-finished.

    [March 7, 1972

    Kylan gave me a beautiful potted plant.

    He said it contained seeds, but it looks empty so far.

    I put it in a sunny spot.

    What do you think will sprout?

    [January 18, 73.

    Winter is cold, but this time it's okay.

    After this winter, when spring comes, I'll finally have my coming-of-age ceremony. Will I be able to confess my feelings after the ceremony?]

    She closed the diary as she couldn't bear to look at it anymore after only a few pages. It was all about Kylan.

    Probably more so the more recent it was. It was only a few years ago that she had truly realized how much she liked him.

    Shaking her head, she flipped to the front page of her old diary, which contained a relatively long entry. It was written in a child's jagged handwriting.

    As she read, Euris doubted her eyes. There was a name she didn't recognize.

    [July 31, 61

    There was a party at my house today. Many people came.

    Their names were so long that I can't remember any of them now.

    But I do remember one person. Older than me.

    He was called Chaint, I forget the rest of his name.

    He was alone.

    I gave him a cherished stone as a gift.

    People are usually surprised when they receive a rock as a gift, but he liked it.

    I think he's kind.]

    ‘Have I ever met him?’

    I felt a dull thud, like I'd been hit in the head. I looked at the year and realized I was eight years old. It must have been one of those gatherings where my wide-footed parents mingled with people from various families.

    Now that I think about it, I might have had a hobby of collecting stones at that age.

    ‘I'm sure I fit in well with my friends up until that point.’

    The thought made her mouth a bit bitter, and she quickly scanned the diary forward and backward through the days.

    There were no more pages with his name on them, but there were plenty of stories about her giving rocks to her peers who came to her house to play.

    ‘Did he remember me in his last life?’

    She couldn't wait to meet him.

    ***

    It had been a week since Euris regressed, and she had been trying to adjust to the repetition of her life, counting down the days until she saw Chaint again.

    And finally, that day came. She arrived with her mother at the Ales Duchy, where the party was being held.

    It was the first time in her adult life that she had attended such an event. The thought of having to see Kylan here again made her uncomfortable, but it was inevitable.

    ‘I'm about to meet a lot of people.’

    Euris had a history of trauma, and it was a long period of childhood bullying by her peers that had left her with a reclusive personality that didn't want to meet people.

    'It's been about 20 years, I don't care anymore.'

    Counting her years, Euris reminded herself, taking a shallow breath and following the graceful Frelona.

    After passing through the magnificent gardens, the manor was decorated for the season, smelling of spring. As they entered the ballroom, they were greeted by several lords and ladies.

    The lords and ladies drinking tea in the large parlor looked at her in surprise.

    Embarrassed, Euris looked down, but the reason they were looking at her was because she was so beautiful.

    It was a moment when Frelona's efforts on behalf of her daughter, who was attending the event for the first time in many years, paid off.

    The youngsters who had bullied her had all been expelled from society, and she would never see them again, but she couldn't help but feel nervous.

    Her heart began to beat a little faster.

    'I'm only here to find Chaint.'

    Yuris struggled to wrap her mind around the thought.

    She responded politely to those who greeted her, searching anxiously for Chaint out of the corner of her eye. Frelona, beside her, noticed the look.

    "Euris, are you looking for someone?"

    ****

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