Sorry 4

Chapter 4

    ***

    "Ma'am, ma'am."

    "......?"

    Lost in thought, Euris was only able to answer after the maid called out several times. With a puzzled look on her face, the maid asked with a worried expression.

    "Are you ill?"

    "Oh, no....... I'm fine, why did you call me?"

    "I found out the name of the flower you asked about this morning."

    "Oh. I did.

    She smiled faintly as she recalled the white flowers that resembled a trumpet and motioned for the maid to continue.

    "It’s calla lilies, and its name means・・・・・・ 'You are my luck."

    "..."

    The maid was a little taken aback by her hostess's reaction. The hostess wasn't one to show emotion, but she seemed to be opening up to her master (Chaint) in a noticeable way.

    Slowly, if at all, but it was a good change for her to support their love.

    So she looked forward to seeing her hostess's cheeks heat up, or at least show a faint smile, when she delivered these beautiful floral words.

    But instead of smiling, the hostess wept profusely. Large tears rolled down her cheeks and soaked her skirt.

    The maid was stunned by the sight of her sobbing.

    'You are my good fortune.’

    Euris cried for a long time, thinking about those words, and desperately remembered the departed Chaint.

    ‘When you return in a month's time, I will have a child with you. I will apologize for breaking your heart in the meantime and promise to be a faithful wife.’

    One month.

    She counted down the days like a magic spell.

    'He told me it wouldn't be dangerous, he told me it would be over soon. Let's gather the bouquets he's been giving me, let's dry them beautifully, let's take care of the things I’ve been neglecting. Let's show him I’m healthy.’

    But her thoughts were brutally crushed.

    ***

    It had been exactly thirty days since Euris had counted the hours.

    When a wooden, maroon coffin arrived at the mansion in place of her husband, Euris didn't know what it was.

    Soldiers placed the heavy coffin in the garden and placed white flowers on it. Even then, she didn't understand what was happening.

    An officer she didn't recognize placed a white flower in her hand as well. The few soldiers lined up in a row all bowed their heads. The mood was somber; they bowed in a scaled-down salute and observed a moment of silence in accordance with funeral laws.

    Euris watched the whole thing in disbelief.

    "We should be grateful that the body has been returned.... I'm sorry for your loss. I wish you well in your time of need."

    The soldiers disappeared with those words. Their steps were hurried. This was to be expected in a time of war.

    ‘We should be grateful that the body is back.’

    She sank to the floor, the words falling short of conveying her husband's last words.

    The first thing she did was crawl over to the coffin. The white flowers that had been pinned to the top fluttered around her at her touch.

    The coffin lid was too heavy for her to lift alone. The servants standing behind her quickly came to her aid. When she finally lifted the wooden lid, she saw a white cloth covered in silence.

    With trembling hands, Euris removed the thin cloth. Then she saw the pale, sleeping face of Chaint. The last time she had seen him, only a month ago, flashed through her mind.

    "I love you." (Chaint)

    "...I didn’t."

    She said out loud. Her hand, already beginning to tremble uncontrollably, touched the dead man's cheek. The cold, hard texture was eerily familiar.

    "No!!!"

    "...."

    The dead man's eyes and mouth remained closed, unmoving.

    "I never told you I loved you, never told you I loved you properly!"

    A cracked wail echoed through the garden, her tears falling onto the corpse. All the servants stood in silent reflection, grieving the situation.

    It was a time of many deaths. War was such a thing. This was not the first place where news of the dead had been heard. Many people had lost family members. She was just one of them.

    Euris cried endlessly, unable to bear the thought of her own foolishness.

    It didn't take long for her to come to terms with her husband's death, but Euris’s condition deteriorated rapidly: her cheeks, which had been plumped nicely, became hollow and her face lost all expression.

    In the midst of her grief over her husband's short-lived funeral, Lepallon's army destroyed the city. The news of her parents' deaths came as a crushing blow. The Either estate had been bombed.

    The news made her even more devastated. As the weeks passed, everyone in the mansion scattered.

    Soon, she was the only one left in the Eridov mansion in the capital. The charter was tilting toward defeat.

    She felt like she had lost everything.

    She ran out of the mansion like a madwoman. Everyone else who hadn't made it out of the city had slammed and locked their doors and ducked into the basement.

    But she walked and walked and walked, cursing herself for being so stupid.

    She was going to die. She thought of his office in the imperial palace, the place where Chaint had made himself at home.

    She had been there a few times, and his portrait hung there. She realized she had to see it before she died, so she walked and walked and walked for hours, frantically.

    As she walked to the imperial palace, she saw the city burned to the ground. Bombed-out streets were littered with unclaimed bodies.

    She arrived at the castle to find that all the indoor staircases were closed, and the only way to enter the building was via a small iron staircase outside. The castle was empty, as everyone had    evacuated.

    Barefoot, she trudged up the stairs to Chaint’s office.

    The outdoor staircase wound its way up to the top, a sharp wind whipping through the air as she gained height.

    The staircase was a makeshift structure built by laborers and could fall apart at any moment. But Euris was undeterred and continued to climb the stairs.

    She stopped and looked down. The trees below looked as small as chess pieces. The wooden planks on the stairs fluttered down like feathers.

    Euris closed her eyes. She could feel the wind. Just a little further up this path would be Chaint’s office.

    ‘On his chair, under his portrait, I will commit suicide.’

    She opened her eyes again and climbed the stairs, struggling to hold back the rising tide of grief.

    From above, she heard the sound of military footsteps.

    Looking up, Euris came face to face with a man dressed in the uniform of the Lepallon Empire.

    A face of disbelief stared down at her.

    It was Kylan.

    His brow twitched for a moment at the sight of her, then returned to normal.

    "Why are you in this dangerous place......."

    The high-rise wind swallowed his muttering. His saccharine hair whipped in the wind.

    "..."

    The sight of him didn't make Euris’s heart plummet as it had before. She could only sense that his face was more injured than it had been the last time she'd seen him, and she knew instinctively that Kylan wasn't happy.

    But it didn't matter now. All she wanted to do was get to Chaint’s office.

    Ignoring him, Euris began to climb the stairs again, pushing past the man as she went.

    Thud.

    She felt a strong hand grab her arm. Euris stared helplessly at the hand that gripped her thin arm.

    "It's not safe to go any higher."

    Kylan looked up with a warning glare.

    Instead of answering, she twisted her arm out of his grasp and quickened her pace, but Kylan caught her again.

    "Let go of me."

    The man flinched at the coldness of the woman's voice, but he didn't let go.

    And a small struggle broke out. Between the woman twisting her arm to pull it away and the man blocking it.

    "Euris, are you crazy, you’re going to die, where are your shoes going again................"

    "Huh, what does it matter now?"

    "Come down with me and I'll take you somewhere safe."

    "Why would I follow you!"

    Her voice grew louder, her gestures more furious.

    And then.

    Euris stumbled.

    Her bare feet slipped on the bird droppings on the stairs. There was a momentary thud, and then her body tumbled down the railing, coming to a halt in midair.

    Kylan barely caught Euris’s hand. She dangled precariously over the edge.

    "Yuris・・・・・・!"

    She looked up at Kylan, who was clutching onto a few of her fingers, barely holding on. His eyes were pleading, as if he really wanted her to live.

    Euris smiled.

    "Let me go."

    "No! Please..."

    Sweat pooled between their clasped hands. The corner of her mouth lifted in a sneer, and she yanked his arm away. Slippery fingers slipped out of Kylan's grasp in an instant.

    He heard him yell "No," but it didn't stop her fall.

    She was finally dying.

    She stared blankly at the blue sky, feeling gravity pull her down.

    It was only a moment, but she felt an overwhelming sense of regret: why couldn't she let go of the person who hated her, why couldn't she recognize her closest friend's true feelings?

    ‘I can go to my father, my mother, and my husband, who loved me for who I am.’

    It's just as well.

    "...I'm sorry, honey."

    The last of her fluttering brown hair came into view. She closed her eyes.

    ***

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