Sorry 12

Chapter 12

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     Marquis Garnan’s first son, Chaint, was a model child: he grew up in an environment where he never lacked for anything and could have anything he wanted.

    But he didn't want much. He always seemed bored, and sometimes even emotionless.

    Other than that, he was the perfect son. His parents were excited about his future. Even the engagement was a sign of his resourcefulness. Garnan would gladly entrust Eridov’s future to his firstborn son.

    But there was one thing that bothered him. Chaint had volunteered for an imperial position. At first, he allowed it, thinking it would be a good experience.

    But he became strangely obsessed with his work.

    He was basically a hard-working, quick-thinking young man who had risen through the ranks, but the fact that he had taken on a job that had nothing to do with the family was something that Marquis Garnan Eridov didn't like.

    "You'll be engaged and married before you know it," he said, "and you'd better start focusing on your succession lessons, and get your imperial scribe job sorted out as soon as possible."

    "...."

    "You have done well so far. You have demonstrated your ability to excel in my likeness, and you have done so publicly. But enough is enough. No more."

    The Marquis didn't understand why his son was so eager to tie himself to imperial duties. He wondered why his son, the eldest son of a marquis, who was to be married in the not-too-distant future, would insist on a useless government job.

    The family had plenty of money. There was plenty of honor, too, and Marquis Eridov wanted his son to focus solely on the family.

    The son didn't answer, but the Marquis didn't care.

    "Did you mention Euris, the young lady who will be your wife?"

    Chaint’s hand flipping through the papers stopped at the sound of his father's voice.

    "...Yes."

    "Men grow tired of women at some point. A man may want to be with a new beauty at any time, and in order to do that, you need to keep your family strong, not go out and do imperial duties that won't help you."

    He curled his fist in a way that didn't show his reactions to his father's words.

    "A man can love at any age if his family is strong. Even when they are old. Power, honor, and riches are just as important."

    Love. Chaint almost burst out laughing at the word. It was so ridiculous, and the sound of his father's voice was hilarious, as if he were giving valuable advice.

    ‘How did I grow up with that disgusting love of yours?’

    His blue eyes burned as he studied the papers. His father had always left his mother for a new woman.

    Some of his children were the result of that lousy love. Chaint’s younger brother was an illegitimate child, who was 5 years younger than him.

    "How many people have you made unhappy because of your lousy love?"

    "Heed your father's advice."

    "......Ah, how is Chersi doing?"

    He asked calmly, suppressing his rising emotions. Chersi was the name of his illegitimate younger brother.

    Born to his father and a young maid when he was a child, the illegitimate child was not even allowed to stay in the manor.

    The maid had been raising Chersi in a remote mansion that Garnan had hired out. She had never been seen or spoken to him face to face.

    "Tsk. I’m not even curious."

    Chersi was Garnan's shame; he had gotten a lot of flashbacks since the child was born, and no matter how secretive he'd been about the birth, word had always gotten out faster.

    Chersi had made him even more careful about birth control, and it had made him even more obsessed with his first son, Chaint.

    As a result of these events, Chaint’s childhood memories were dominated by his mother's unhappiness, and he was very much influenced by it as he grew up.

    As a result, he hated his father and never believed in "love," which he considered an unnecessary and consuming emotion, a highly inefficient form of human evolution.

    Naturally, he came to value only what he could verify. This was one of the reasons why he volunteered for the imperial service. He wanted to prove himself. He wanted to step out of his father's shadow.

    And he did a great job with everything he was given. Rising to such a high position at such a young age was not difficult for Chaint Eridov.

    Some have called him a genius, others have described him as an efficiency machine.

    But Chaint saw himself as just an ordinary person. A very ordinary person who wanted to move on from a traumatic experience.

    "Your mind is elsewhere, but take this father's words to heart. You don't need to bring your abilities to the imperial court."

    "I'll think about it."

    At his son's reply, Garnan rose from the seat, slapped him on the shoulder a couple of times, and left the room. Once his father's shadow was out of sight in the doorway, Chaint took a deep breath.

    "......ha."

    Unable to focus on what he was seeing any longer, he put down his pen and leaned back in his chair.

    As he tilted his head, the sun was shining through the window behind him. The color of the sky resembled the color of water.

    His vision stung, so he closed his eyes. Then he heard the voice he had always missed.

    "Chaint."

    The love he'd seen through his father's eyes was disgusting, dirty, and unspiritual-that was the "love" he'd known.

    But it was wrong.

    The Euris that had appeared in his life, the feelings he had for her, the world she had shown him....was certainly different from his father's.

    He had learned to love by giving her his heart.

    "Honey."

    If only he could hear that voice again.

    The woman who always looked at him with guilt in her eyes, who always looked empty and sad. A woman who looked so much like himself that he never thought to give or receive love in the first place.

    Sometimes she'd look like she could die right now, and other times she'd make a cute little dimpled smile when she was playing a prank. All the memories came flooding back.

    'In my last life, thanks to you, I fully realized the meaning of love.'

    His marriage to that lovely woman was happy, and it became his own little greenhouse that he didn't want to lose.

    The love that he had neither received nor given since childhood had become a great thirst, and he turned to Euris with all his heart.

    It drenched him.

    It made him treasure her so much that he would trade his life for her.

    .....But tragedy lurked in sudden places.

    "The war?"

    "Do you have to go right away?"

    "Chaint......."

    He remembered his wife's face, those beautiful green eyes, colored with anxiety, as clearly as if he had seen them just a few days before.

    ‘I knew you were worried, but I had to leave.’

    He cupped her face with his hands. The sun shone through his knuckles.

    ‘I thought I could go back, but I never could.’

    Despite what he thought would be a quick end to the war, it only got worse as time went on. The actual conditions of war were far worse than he had imagined.

    The sky rumbled with every bombing run. It was not uncommon for people you talked to yesterday to come back dead today, and crucially, the soldiers of the Lepallon Empire raided your stronghold.

    "Danger! This is no longer..............."

    "Commander, we need to get out, enemy artillery is closing in, it's dangerous!"

    He had to live. He couldn't leave Euris to die there, so he ran. Bombs fell all around him.

    The world was gray, and only the sound of explosions and acrid smoke filled the sky. When he breathed in, the smell of dust and gunpowder mingled and filled his lungs.

    As he ran, something flew at him and stuck in his thigh. He wasn't surprised; sharp things were raining down like rain.

    With intense pain, he lost his balance and fell to the ground. The ones that flew next also inflicted fatal wounds on his abdomen and side.

    ****

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