Chapter 10. Given yourself to the beast
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Sponsored by Curufin. Thank you ❤️ (4/8)
***
The atmosphere was murderous, and Patrick couldn't say anything to Kayan.
He didn't want to be the one to get burned.
Patrick was inclined to think that the humiliation of his wife, the queen, was nothing compared to the disrespect of the Anut people to him, their king, even as he gnashed his teeth in anger.
"The Queen's rudeness has gone too far."
The Queen's shame became even more pronounced when the king openly sided with Kayan.
Lena clenched her hands into fists under the table.
Somehow she had to act rational.
A calm voice with a hint of ripples reached her.
"Thank you for your advice. Lord Bayate."
Lena, meanwhile, had suppressed her volcanic outburst and skillfully composed her expression.
She tore her gaze away from Kayan and glanced back at Ihedia, whose face did not seem to contain any emotion.
At least she could say she had learned one important thing today.
***
[You fool, a princess the same age as you is already learning the difficult language of Edosalant.]
[How can you not walk gracefully like the princess!]
[The children of Elmir’s most prominent family are all running around after the Princess, and you don't feel any lacking?]
Elmir’s pearl, where everything was perfect from birth, cast a dark cloud over Lena's life.
Mrs. Howard wanted her young daughter to catch the eye of the Princess and make royal connections.
Yet she was bitterly dissatisfied that her bloodline did not excel in any of these areas.
Mrs. Howard, in order to resolve her resentment of not being queen after being pushed out by Ihedia's biological mother, Edeline, pushed her innocent child.
Such a motherly attitude instilled in her daughter a deep-seated sense of inferiority.
[Whatever I do, Ihedia, Ihedia, Ihedia, please stop. I'm sick and tired of it, mother!]
The world sought only the beautiful princess, and all the men to whom Lena gave her heart wanted only Ihedia.
Lena was always surrounded by men who knew of her close relationship with the princess and tried to win her favor with false promises.
Just as she was beginning to resign herself to a life as a lowly maid, she fell into a terrible unrequited love.
She threw away all her womanly pride and begged for affection.
[You don't have to love me, just let me be by your side.]
He had been waiting for those words, and from then on, he wielded Lena at will, taking nothing but her coveted flesh.
And each time, he urged her, as if brainwashing her.
[I don't want anyone to know about our relationship. To protect our honor, Lena, do you understand?]
Lena could only nod, even though she felt like a part of her heart was dying every time she heard those words.
In time, she thought she could be his true lover.
Even if he didn't love her right now, sometime in the distant future.
And so she imagined her heart bursting with excitement every day in this false relationship.
Living in the same house with him, making love, eating meals together every day, having children who looked like each other.
One day, Lena noticed something was wrong with her body.
She was having a baby.
[I'm sorry. I don't think I can give her up. I want her as much as you want me. Lena, do you understand?]
[No, I don't.]
[I've never understood you.]
The irresponsible man turned and walked away, not even listening to her last answer.
The moment she told the man she loved that she was pregnant, Lena heard the harshest truth in the world.
Still, she couldn't give up her child.
She hid the news from her parents and secretly planned to leave home to live with her child.
Then, out of the blue, she developed severe stomach pains.
Soon after, she began to hemorrhage, and she lost her first child.
A few months later, Lena overheard some chatter.
[I swear I saw her put medicine in the water she drank, and that very day she bled heavily. She was ashamed of her daughter, a single mom-to-be.]
She couldn’t believe her mother caused all that pain.
Lena was overcome with anger.
"How could you do such a diabolical thing? Don't tell me it was for my own good, because I hate my life with a mother like you." (Lena)
"Please, come to your senses! Do you know who brought you those pills? That unscrupulous bastard came to me and said that if you tarnish his reputation and prevent him from marrying the princess, he will never let it happen. He threatened to destroy my family, not to mention your life!" (Lena’s mother)
Lena's heart was shattered that day.
As if punished by the gods, the conniving man died shortly afterward in a carriage accident.
So futile, without giving her a chance to settle the score.
Lena's unbridled resentment and hatred was directed at the remaining Ihedia.
"I will make you king."
Lena had chosen a man who could be used to exact her revenge.
A man of her own who would not be taken from her, at least not by Ihedia.
Now all that remained in Lena's life was to destroy Elmir’s pearl once and for all.
***
"Are you here?"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"We're alone, Ihedia, so you can relax."
Lena splashed her feet in the water in the bathtub and spoke as friendly as she could to Ihedia.
Lena often called Ihedia by her name and treated her like one of her maids.
Ihedia was asked to make her tea, brush her hair, or do other duties that were expected of a maid, such as helping her bathe.
It was a bonus to have her humiliated in the process.
Summoned to attend to the Queen's bath, Ihedia approached Lena with a washcloth, as if she were used to it by now.
She began to carefully wipe her shoulders and back.
The back and forth strokes held no color of emotion.
"Isn't it funny how I always helped you with your baths, and now the roles are reversed?"
Lena's clear laugh, like a bell, rang through the bathroom.
Ihedia didn't know what to say in response, so she simply did her job.
Suddenly, she remembered Kayan's mocking words from the banquet hall.
"It's just as well. We've been short-handed lately. You might end up living in Anut anyway, so what's the harm in getting some experience?"
A faint smile crossed her lips as she realized that she was no different from the slaves who had been taken to Anut, carrying the mantle of the enemy who had ruined her life.
Lena muttered under Ihedia's watchful eye.
"In retrospect, being your maid wasn't so bad, after all, you were always kind to those around you, especially me."
Ihedia's touch paused.
For her, the mention of a happy past was like a knife to the heart.
She had always wanted to ask.
Why are you doing this to me?
I cared so much for you, why did you turn into this?
Lena stepped out of the tub, wrapped a large towel around herself, and sat down on a chair.
She glared at Ihedia and gestured to her feet.
Ihedia obediently walked over to Lena, anointed her feet with scented oil, and began massaging them.
"I didn't want to be a queen or anything, but it's actually more fun than I thought. I never want to go back to my old life."
Lena suddenly dropped her voice to a whisper, noticing the impassive look on Ihedia's face.
"Do you want me to tell you a secret? There's a letter you received from Count Baldwin a long time ago."
Ihedia's hands on Lena's foot paused.
"You were reading it, and you left it on the table and walked away for a moment, and I couldn't help but look at it, because it had Liam Baldwin's name on the outside envelope, and what it said. Well, you know, it's a copy of the letter I sent him, right?"
Suddenly, Ihedia's hazy eyes came into focus.
"No way, then......."
“Thanks to you, my earnest confession, which I had been writing for months through poetry books and dictionaries, and had compiled only endearing words, ended up going astray. What an uncreative and funny man, copying my letters.”
Lena burst out laughing as soon as she finished.
"Well, I'm sure you've already erased from your memory what the letter was about, since you weren't interested in him."
Lena lifted her head slowly with her index finger.
"You know, I hated the look on your face that you didn't know anything, so I destroyed it, so you'd look better."
"...."
"I don't know how the hell you managed to sway Kayan Bayate's heart with that ugly face, but you're amazing in so many ways."
Ihedia's pupils fluttered uneasily, as if drifting in the wind, at the hurtful words.
"What do you mean?"
"That bastard thinks you’re special, and you're going to pretend you don't know that?"
The sound of Kayan Bayate's name coming out of Lena's mouth was a bad sign.
Ihedia's heartbeat quickened slightly as she sensed the ominous aura.
"My instincts are not wrong, Ihedia, especially when it comes to you. I don't think he knows what he's looking at, idiot."
Ihedia didn't want to hear Lena's next words.
But her misfortune was about to be realized.
"I'm sure you'll do a good job. He's not an easy man to tame, and you'll have your work cut out for you, but you don't get things for free, and even I, the queen, have a hard time keeping up with Patrick."
Lena blinked her eyelids slowly as she looked at Ihedia, who continued to look confused.
"Does it hurt your pride any less if you pretend to be so innocent, when you're really just a whore who's given yourself to a beast?"
Her dark brown eyes, tinged with a hint of bitterness, coiled around Ihedia's lungs like a snake.
"I hope you somehow survive that hell, Ihedia."
As I did.
Lena brushed a wet finger across Ihedia's face, forcing a smile that could not have been more refreshing.
****
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